Interview with Graham Weaver

Stepping into the world of a $15 billion investor usually conjures images of high-stakes deals and fleeting overnight success. But as Jayhoovy sat down with Graham Weaver, a top Stanford Business School professor, private equity fund manager, family man, and surprisingly, a TikTok sensation, a much deeper, more grounded truth emerged. This wasn't just an interview about making money; it was a masterclass in building a life of purpose, resilience, and genuine fulfillment, one deliberate step at a time.

The Unsexy Truth of Daily Habits and Decade-Long Dedication

From the outset, Graham Weaver dismantled the myth of the "big sweep in moves" that most people chase. Instead of waiting for a lightning strike of inspiration or a lucky break, he credits his success to an unwavering commitment to "tiny tiny little habits." This isn't about grand gestures; it's about the consistent, often mundane, actions performed day after day, year after year. As he shared, if he were to advise his younger self, it would be about "working out every day, sleeping really well, writing down my goals, writing down the things I'm going to do each day to work toward my goals, doing stuff when you don't want to do it and just throwing yourself into... the things you're supposed to do as opposed to the things you want to do but doing it daily like day after day after day after day."

This philosophy was forged in his early life, most notably through his college rowing career. After quitting wrestling in high school due to a single loss and regretting it deeply, Graham vowed never to give up again. He meticulously documented his goal to be the best rower in the United States, facing setbacks like getting cut from the boat, yet persisting until he captained a National Championship team. This experience instilled in him the "expectation that it was going to take some time" and the "knowledge that if I stay that I was going to stay with it and that if I did like eventually it would work out." Success, he contends, isn't fast; it's a 10-year adventure.

Key Practices:

• Embrace the power of consistent, "boring" daily habits for compounding growth.
• Cultivate a long-term mindset, expecting success to take a decade or more.
• Prioritize action over waiting for motivation or "divine inspiration."

Chasing Unconventional Fortunes and Embracing Early Failure

When asked about his playbook for making a first million today, Graham's advice again veered from the glamorous. He proposed buying an "unsexy" small private business, like a car wash. The strategy involves financing most of it with debt (seller notes, mortgages, bank loans), then "run[ning] the hell out of that car wash," making it the best in the world, and then replicating the model. This is precisely how he started his own journey, acquiring small label printing companies at 25.

Graham pointed out the folly of chasing popular trends like crypto, where "everyone in the world's doing that." True fortune, he argued, often lies "where other people aren't going." This contrarian approach comes with its share of bumps. He was remarkably candid about his early track record: "I lost money on five of my first eight deals." Even after raising his first fund, he lost money on it. During the Great Recession, his companies were in default, and he drained his savings twice to make payroll. These "battle scars" weren't deterrents but profound learning experiences that ultimately paved his path to an $11 billion private equity fund.

Key Learnings:

• Seek opportunities in "unsexy" or overlooked markets where competition is low.
• Master operations of a small business before scaling.
• Expect and learn from significant, repeated failures as part of the long journey.

The Mindset of Flow, Agency, and Dismantling Limiting Beliefs

Beyond financial strategies, Graham dove deep into the psychology of success and happiness. He champions the concept of "Flow," as described in Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's work. True happiness, he explained, isn't about passive pleasure but "being completely present in the moment in whatever you're doing," whether it's cooking, writing, or a management meeting. This state of deep engagement transforms the entire "10-year adventure" into a joyful experience, devoid of the fleeting satisfaction that often follows goal achievement. "Hitting your goal can be... one of the most depressing things you'll ever do," he admitted, because expectations rarely match reality.

Graham also tackled the critical issue of mindset. He passionately warned against the "most dangerous narrative you can have... I'm a victim." Regardless of circumstance, this mentality "will kill you because you're basically putting the power outside of yourself and you're giving it away." His teaching at Stanford Business School evolved from just skills to addressing what truly holds students back. He encourages them to articulate what they really want, then identify and "write down the limiting beliefs" that are swirling in their heads. Once on paper, fears like "I don't know how I'd finance my startup" transform into solvable "to-do items." This shifts stress, which Graham clarifies, doesn't come from hard work, but "from conflict" – when actions don't align with true desires.

Key Insights:

• Cultivate "flow" by engaging fully and presently in challenging activities.
• Reject a "victim mentality" to retain personal power and agency.
• Externalize limiting beliefs to transform them into actionable problems.
• Understand that stress originates from internal conflict, not effort.

The Talent Business: Cultivating A-Players and Scheduling Innovation

A pivotal moment for Graham came during the Great Recession, guided by an executive coach. He realized that his frantic "diving saves" across failing companies stemmed from a root problem: B and C players in key roles. This led to a profound epiphany, which he explicitly wrote in his journal: "I am in the talent business. I'm not in the private Equity business. I'm not in the software business. I'm in the talent business first and foremost." This means his primary focus shifted to attracting, retaining, and developing the very best people. The difference between an A and a B player, he noted, isn't 10% but "200 times" or "300 times" over a decade – a wildly asymmetric return.

To compete with private equity giants, Graham's firm, Alpine Investors, plays a "different game." They don't bid on the same assets as everyone else; instead, they "manufacture our own management teams," hiring talented individuals and placing them in companies that lack leadership. This also extends to how they innovate internally. They actively "schedule Innovation," putting it on the calendar, asking critical questions ("what's not going well," "what could kill us," and crucially, "what's going well that we could scale?"), and giving themselves "permission to have it be messy." This deliberate approach has led to "unbelievable breakthroughs" and sets them apart.

Key Changes:

• Reframe your core business as "the talent business," prioritizing people above all else.
• Hire for attributes like "will to win" over mere experience.
• Actively create competitive advantages by playing a "different game."
• Institutionalize innovation by scheduling dedicated time for it.

Your Tactical Playbook for a Fulfilling Life

Bringing it all together, Graham offered a three-part tactical framework for anyone seeking to build a successful and happy life. First, "know where you are" by being intellectually honest about your current state, writing down limiting beliefs, and understanding your self-narrative. Second, "what do you actually want?" He urged listeners to dream big, thinking 5-10 years out, deciding "what you would do if you knew you wouldn't fail," and crucially, to "suspend the how." The "how is the killer of all great dreams," he warned, advocating for unconstrained visioning.

Finally, "how to get there." Once clarity on "where you are" and "where you want to go" is achieved, the tactics are the "easy part." His advice includes making a list of 30 actions you could take, identifying six people who could help, listing relevant readings, and finding people who have already achieved similar goals. This iterative, action-oriented approach, combined with the power of writing down goals daily to align the subconscious, creates an unstoppable momentum. Graham's own goals continue to evolve, from building the greatest private equity firm of all time to now scaling his impactful Stanford teachings to a broader audience via social media. His overarching message, however, remains timeless and universally applicable.

"[G]reat things take time." - Graham Weaver